I wrote an article a few months back about how the entire marketing process is like dating -- you have to warm people up to you prior to getting them ready to open their wallets, to cut to the chase.

A more sensitive way of putting this is that your prospects are like someone you date: The first date is most important because it determines whether there's a second date. The second date determines whether there's a third date. At some point, there's a kiss -- and the beginning of a real relationship (and not necessarily in that order).

That's exactly how marketing works as well (and why you want your brand in order before you even make it to the very first date!). If you don't give your prospects reasons to seek you out a second time, if you don't charm them the first time, you're out. So that first impression means a lot.

There's an entire section in my High-Concept Brand Bible that explains the power of first impressions and why you need to make your small business's first impression nothing short of stellar. But not everyone understands this ...

I recently placed an ad on my local Craigslist for a simple subcontracting project for someone with a certain type of professional skills. The help I needed is far less interesting or illuminating than the responses I received -- and you can learn a lot about romancing your prospects from what I received.

Some examples:

1) An overly confident message from someone who sounds polished, but overbearing. The job in question is a simple task for someone who has done this professionally, and I am not concerned at all about finding someone who can handle the task. But I do not want to work with someone who appears to be in love with herself. There is a balance that you must find to be appealingly confident, whether you're on a date, trying to get hired for a freelance job or selling your products.

2) A resume that had absolutely nothing to do with the job I needed filled. The guy had been a producer, counselor, lawyer and a lot of other things that sounded great, but had no bearing on the task at hand -- and there was no cover letter to give context. If you're on a first date, you need to make sure to make a little polite conversation about yourself rather than throw out a catalog of everything you've ever done, right? Why wasn't that done here? I don't know, but I passed on that application. Give context and you'll get further (as in "I can help scrapbooking enthusiasts like you better than the rest because of my extensive experience as a scrapbooker myself" -- show the prospect why they can relate to you).

3) One applicant ended up telling me her life story, switched gears to ask about payment rather abruptly (which is a legitimate query, but not in the aggressive way that the applicant asked), and then began mentioning where she lived and how difficult it would be for her if she had to leave her home office for any reason. Other than the life story, none of the content of the application in and of itself was too problematic -- except that it was sent in an almost stream-of-consciousness manner that made me afraid she wouldn't be able to complete assignments and/or would end up spending more time chatting with me than performing the task, which I am outsourcing to save myself time. I love to work with great people, but ... this was a weird application and the person, however lovely in real life, seemed a little scatterbrained for the detail-oriented position I needed filled.

4) An earnest e-mail from someone with no experience, but the strong desire for the work. I may end up hiring this person, but there's one killer sentence in the freelancer's application that just blows away any value her potential clients might have for her -- she gave her recommended rates for the position, and then stated that if that was too much, to please "tell her what she is worth." If you are not confident about your rates, it is better not to mention them at first than to backpeddle so quickly in your marketing materials. Instead, say that your rates are competitive, and you can be flexible to meet the needs of the assignment. And better yet, gain the confidence you need to stand behind the fees you really want to make by building a brand for your business -- and then get what you ask for!

In any case, what impressed me the most out of this experience is that there is a HUGE market for talented small business owners who know how to communicate themselves well to their prospects in fields even I wasn't aware of. So don't tell yourself that you're not good enough to get high rates, that you're not able to break out of your current situation or, on the other hand, that there's no room for improvement in the way that you handle your prospecting, think again. What kind of romancing do your prospects need? And how can you improve your marketing skills, how can you strengthen your brand to get ahead?

At the end of the day, it's all about taking action to improve yourself. I have faith in you. Do you?