I wrote an article a few months back about how the entire marketing process is like dating -- you have to warm people up to you prior to getting them ready to open their wallets, to cut to the chase.

A more sensitive way of putting this is that your prospects are like someone you date: The first date is most important because it determines whether there's a second date. The second date determines whether there's a third date. At some point, there's a kiss -- and the beginning of a real relationship (and not necessarily in that order).

That's exactly how marketing works as well (and why you want your brand in order before you even make it to the very first date!). If you don't give your prospects reasons to seek you out a second time, if you don't charm them the first time, you're out. So that first impression means a lot.

There's an entire section in my High-Concept Brand Bible that explains the power of first impressions and why you need to make your small business's first impression nothing short of stellar. But not everyone understands this ...

I recently placed an ad on my local Craigslist for a simple subcontracting project for someone with a certain type of professional skills. The help I needed is far less interesting or illuminating than the responses I received -- and you can learn a lot about romancing your prospects from what I received.

Some examples:

1) An overly confident message from someone who sounds polished, but overbearing. The job in question is a simple task for someone who has done this professionally, and I am not concerned at all about finding someone who can handle the task. But I do not want to work with someone who appears to be in love with herself. There is a balance that you must find to be appealingly confident, whether you're on a date, trying to get hired for a freelance job or selling your products.

2) A resume that had absolutely nothing to do with the job I needed filled. The guy had been a producer, counselor, lawyer and a lot of other things that sounded great, but had no bearing on the task at hand -- and there was no cover letter to give context. If you're on a first date, you need to make sure to make a little polite conversation about yourself rather than throw out a catalog of everything you've ever done, right? Why wasn't that done here? I don't know, but I passed on that application. Give context and you'll get further (as in "I can help scrapbooking enthusiasts like you better than the rest because of my extensive experience as a scrapbooker myself" -- show the prospect why they can relate to you).

3) One applicant ended up telling me her life story, switched gears to ask about payment rather abruptly (which is a legitimate query, but not in the aggressive way that the applicant asked), and then began mentioning where she lived and how difficult it would be for her if she had to leave her home office for any reason. Other than the life story, none of the content of the application in and of itself was too problematic -- except that it was sent in an almost stream-of-consciousness manner that made me afraid she wouldn't be able to complete assignments and/or would end up spending more time chatting with me than performing the task, which I am outsourcing to save myself time. I love to work with great people, but ... this was a weird application and the person, however lovely in real life, seemed a little scatterbrained for the detail-oriented position I needed filled.

4) An earnest e-mail from someone with no experience, but the strong desire for the work. I may end up hiring this person, but there's one killer sentence in the freelancer's application that just blows away any value her potential clients might have for her -- she gave her recommended rates for the position, and then stated that if that was too much, to please "tell her what she is worth." If you are not confident about your rates, it is better not to mention them at first than to backpeddle so quickly in your marketing materials. Instead, say that your rates are competitive, and you can be flexible to meet the needs of the assignment. And better yet, gain the confidence you need to stand behind the fees you really want to make by building a brand for your business -- and then get what you ask for!

In any case, what impressed me the most out of this experience is that there is a HUGE market for talented small business owners who know how to communicate themselves well to their prospects in fields even I wasn't aware of. So don't tell yourself that you're not good enough to get high rates, that you're not able to break out of your current situation or, on the other hand, that there's no room for improvement in the way that you handle your prospecting, think again. What kind of romancing do your prospects need? And how can you improve your marketing skills, how can you strengthen your brand to get ahead?

At the end of the day, it's all about taking action to improve yourself. I have faith in you. Do you?

If you got the joke in the title, you'll feel my pain about a prominent line in an e-mail promotion that I received this morning. A well-meaning marketer wanted to suggest that we take something for granted, but wrote, well, that we take things for "granite" instead. Ouch!

And don't even get me started on the difference between "its" and "it's" ...

Folks, take my word for this -- if you make nasty errors like these in your own sales copy, you are losing sales left and right because people aren't taking you seriously. For the price of a good copyeditor to review your copy, you will gain a tremendous amount of respect and business from your prospects. It's so easy to hire an editor that I personally take it for granite, oops, granted in my own business. You should too.

[Reposted due to database problem]

How lucky am I? In addition to getting to enjoy the fabulous 4th of July fireworks here in New York, I've also had the good fortune of seeing an excellent headline in action on a sign touting a parking garage near the Garment District:

[paraphrased] "No, there really isn't a better spot around the corner. Park here for just $XX."

If you live in a large city (or frankly, anywhere with a high-traffic, low-parking ratio), you know this scenario all too well.

"Hmmm, honey, should I park here or try around the corner? Surely there's got to be something better." You turn the corner, oh so hopeful, only to find that no, there are no spots, and in fact, you've just passed up your only shot for the next 5 city blocks. Misery (also known as endless circling with no reward) ensues.

Good headlines always speak the language of your prospects. This one in particular uses normal drivers' everyday speech to capture their attention and pull in lots of business.

[Reposted due to database problem]

I'm currently in the market for several types of (marketing-related) software. You would think it would be straightforward to find all of the above, but it's not.

To get an initial idea of what's out there, I did a quick Google search for the first product in question and the usual 100,000 results popped up. A few strategic additions, and the search narrowed down to a comfortable number of results.

Here's what happened:

I came across a lot of soft-sell "corporate" sites that literally did not tell me the features of their software and whether or not it could run on my own web server. In other words, all benefits and no features makes for fuzzy copy that says exactly nothing.

One standout "techie" site, for lack of a better term, had the longest list of product features I've ever seen in my years of writing copy for software firms. But there was only 1 sentence that included a benefit, so if I weren't fairly tech-savvy, I wouldn't have a clue what I was reading. And that product didn't seem quite up to par. All features and no benefits leaves readers yawning, folks.

Other pages told me what they offered but weren't actually selling software; they wanted me to sign up for a couple years' worth of pricey services hosted on their own machines. The one site that seemed the best match out of the lot had long copy that was compelling, emotional and even would have convinced me to buy had I needed what they offer. But I don't.

I'm well aware that most people don't have a web server at their disposal, but I do, I want software, not services, and I don't like being told I'm getting info on one thing, only to be presented with another. Nowhere in the copy did the merchant tell the truth. Not once.

By this time, I'd spent over an hour hunting for something straightforward and couldn't find what I needed.

In desperation, I went to an online forum known for its savvy in this area and posted a plea for advice. I expected a handful of posts in response and one or two useful bits of information to walk away with.

Then, the unexpected happened. It wasn't business hours when I posted, nor was it a timeframe where I even expected a quick answer to my query. But lo and behold, the phone rang.

Someone had seen my post and gave me a call to let me know about something he sold that could help me. Now, ordinarily I don't like sales calls anymore than anyone else, and I sure don't tend to buy from someone I've just met. And I don't like getting business calls after hours (though I'm the fool for answering the forwarded call, I suppose). However ...

This call actually showed me that the vendor in question had understood what I was looking for. He knew the features and benefits of his product. He told me his background and how to find out more about him online. He let me know how to reach him if I had further questions.

Then he quickly got off the phone and let me think. A day later, I received a polite follow-up email that confirmed all of the contact info and product advice he offered.

And although I still haven't purchased, I'm seriously considering buying from this vendor, whom I hadn't heard of until that phone call.

Why? Because he was honest, told me the truth about his products, knew that the right combo of benefits and features are what sell a product, reacted quickly and followed up, all without being pushy. He let me make up my own mind and gave me the tools I needed to see that his business is legitimate.

That's what it means to simplify someone's life. Not soft-sell that says nothing for the sake of not offending people. Not features to prove that your product is technically superior while telling us exactly zip about what those features mean. (Guess what? We don't care as long as it runs properly the way we need it to.) And not lying to try to make a sale. Trickery doesn't breed trust.

Be straightforward. Go ahead -- tell me what you really have to offer. I dare you.